Propaganda Wreaks Havoc In Families: How F**kheads & Flying Monkeys Destroy Their Family To Get Their Own Sweet Way

Propaganda, the spread of vicious lies with the very specific intent of creating a particular narrative in the short term to grab power and resources in the medium to long term, isn't limited to Nazis. While they may have almost perfected the dark, destructive art of propaganda that has been prevalent throughout history, most political parties now spew propaganda as a matter of course.

Many governments, particularly authoritarian ones, do so as a matter of course. It's become an epidemic, spreading to almost everyone everywhere, including families, where family relationships are destroyed for personal gain. Family propaganda destroys families.

“Repeat a lie often enough and it becomes the truth."

Joseph Goebbels, A Nazi Reichsleiter

Propaganda, according to the experts- like Goebbels, is how liars create the 'illusion of truth.' And many families have at least one Goebbels, or miscreant.

What Is Propaganda?

Propaganda, a favourite tactic of narcissists, psychopaths, and other Cluster B personalities, is the deliberate, systematic spread of information, usually biased, misleading, or false, to influence the beliefs, thoughts, or actions of a target audience, to achieve a particular end goal. Using emotional appeals, symbols, slogans, and lies to promote one viewpoint while distorting facts or suppressing a different view.

Unsurprisingly, political rulers are fingered as the first to use propaganda. The Holy Roman Emperor Maximilian used the printing press for propaganda in the late 15th century, but the dubious value of this practice soon spread. While lawyers are skilled in rhetoric and can use their communication abilities for persuasion, spreading information to influence public opinion is not exclusive to politicians or lawyers. It is prevalent throughout these industries and others in the 21^st century.

Put simply, propaganda is the spread of lies, misinformation, and emotionally-charged suggestions that are designed to create an environment beneficial to the propagandist.

But propagandists don't act alone. They enlist a band of "flying monkeys," people who are manipulated or coerced by a narcissist to carry out their bidding to extend the narcissist's control, like the winged monkeys in The Wizard of Oz who serve the Wicked Witch. The monkeys, often unwittingly, spread gossip, spy on the target, or engage in gaslighting to harm the victim and protect the narcissist- they are usually people-pleasers or lack self-esteem, making them susceptible to the narcissist's manipulation.

And there are f**kheads and flying monkeys in families, too.

White Lies And Other Whittled Down Truths

Arguably, honesty is one of the most important values humans can hold dear. It engenders trust and just makes life simpler. You never have to think too hard about something- you recount what you recall. If you're an honest person, that is. And it keeps your Karmic slate clean: Mostly, lies are destructive, and ain't nobody wants to have to repay that shit. Especially the big lies or the lies that cause significant damage to others, for example, the propaganda spread by the Nazis.

But this presupposes there are degrees of lies. In Arthur Miller's "The Crucible," women are hanged because others are jealous, mainly of their youth and beauty- so insecure women spread lies to keep their husbands' support and the associated lifestyle. In other historical accounts, victims of propaganda have been set alight and die screaming as they die a painful death. While 14 women and five men were hanged in Salem, throughout history, it's mainly women who are the subject of witch-hunts, but this is changing. Anyone perceived as weaker is now a target if they hinder the propagandist in any way.

Abigail Williams, the antagonist-propagandist and villain in "The Crucible" who was transformed from a historical 12-year-old girl to Miller's 17-year-old seductress, is described by Miller as dishonest. She lied about women practicing witchcraft after she was caught dancing in the woods. She spread propaganda to get herself out of trouble. Then she kept compounding her lies, and others joined in the lynching, as mob mentality took hold. Nineteen people were executed by hanging on Gallows Hill because of what some may think was a white lie. That got compounded.

While a white lie, a harmless or trivial lie, may be told to avoid hurting someone's feelings, it's an unnecessary evil. There are always words that can be found that are gentler, and their delivery is toned down to deliver the message in a positive way. If someone looks terrible, rather than "you look like shit!" "Are you ok?" comes from a place of concern, not judgment, for example.

Even a white lie can quickly escalate into another, until a completely different narrative is accepted as truth, much like propaganda. And just like propaganda, the effect on the victim can be harsh, devastating even.

Death may be the worst scenario, but the painful journey of living under a cloud of lies is not easy. Especially when also dealing with the effects of the trauma inflicted.

How Propaganda Affects The Person Being Lied About (The Victim)

Propaganda has devastating effects on the victim. Nazi propaganda had a key role in the persecution of Jews during the Holocaust that resulted in the death of 6 million Jewish People, and the consequent generational trauma still lingers almost a century later. Whistleblowers, often the subject of a vicious smear campaign to discredit their truth, take away their voices, and bully them into submission, often lead to loss of job opportunities and mental health issues that, tragically, sometimes end in suicide.

Similarly, those labelled the black sheep in a family are at the mercy of the greedier, nastier members.

Because propaganda employs partial truths, biased misinformation, or outright lies to shape people's opinions and influence their behaviors, it is inherently dangerous. Propaganda seeks to spread hatred and bigotry and incites violence in the interests of giving the propagandist control by weakening or wiping out their enemy, the victim.

The attack is traumatic, and many victims of a propaganda campaign end up with the symptoms of PTSD, except it's not quite officially PTSD, creating a new layer of unworthiness, as you don't feel deserving of a diagnosis that fits a war hero. Anger, withdrawal, or even blame-shifting are some of the ways the victim's depression packages itself. And, as the smear campaign intended, the victim is isolated, without support, making it difficult to fight back or live an everyday, happy life. The vindictive circus master and their cruel flying monkeys get precisely what they wanted. If, like with any other bully, nobody stands up to them.

Propaganda In Families

According to a National Library of Medicine publication on Family dynamics, the concept refers to:

1. The patterns of interactions among relatives, their roles and relationships, and

2. The factors that shape their interactions.

Family relationships are one of the primary sources of both relationship security and stress, as family members rely on each other for emotional, physical, and economic support. In secure families, love, advice, and care are the norm. Stressful family relationships play out as arguments, constant critical feedback, and onerous demands. Extensive research demonstrates the significant role of family dynamics in influencing health, illness, and recovery outcomes. Toxic family dynamics can be deadly.

Family relationships are the most important relationships we will ever have, good or bad, and shape our perceptions and reactions. But discord often rears its head in families, and family faribles can quickly turn into nasty family feuds.

* ‘Faribles’ is a Yiddish word meaning to be upset and hold a grudge, and, despite not being in widespread use in many countries, the term family faribles is a universal concept.

And a family farible is a ripe environment for a prospective propagandist to take control, creating a more favorable outcome for themselves, despite the cost to other family members.

The goals of a family propagandist are to shape the opinions of other family members so that they think in a particular way, support their specific cause, and behave in a particular way. They do this with specific end goals in mind, for which the isolation of the victim- and/or their ultimate eviction from the family, is necessary. Sometimes it's as simple as being jealous of the attention their victim receives; sometimes, it goes far deeper and leaves far more destruction in its wake.

Propagandists create alliances with carefully chosen flying monkeys*, their new best friends, until they have no further use for them and go on to find new victims over whom their previously precious primate has no influence.

*A "flying monkey" is a term from the context of narcissistic abuse that describes a person manipulated or coerced by a narcissist to carry out their bidding, acting as an extension of the narcissist's control. Similar to the winged monkeys in The Wizard of Oz, who served the Wicked Witch of the West, these individuals often unwittingly spread gossip, spy on the target, or engage in gaslighting to harm the victim and protect the narcissist. Flying monkeys can be family, friends, or coworkers who are often people-pleasers or lack self-preservation, making them susceptible to the narcissist's manipulation and easy to bandwagon*.

*Bandwagoning is the tendency for a weak entity (within a family hierarchy, there are always stronger and weaker members) to align with a dominant power or popular trend to increase its security or achieve success. It is, in effect, a form of peer pressure. In my family, for example, my mother, a narcissist, suffered from mental illness her entire adult life, making it easy for my psychopath sister to bandwagon for her own evil purposes.

And everyone has at least one black sheep in their family. Everyone has their own version of the critical event or events that justified the person being ostracized. However, often the outcast has a vastly different story to tell, one closer to the truth. In my case, I was born to be the family scapegoat; my sister was my mother's golden child, so the roles had been dished out long before I even knew what was happening.

But the reality of familial discord does not negate the good times- I was blessed with many, many happy childhood memories that I almost lost in the face of relentless attacks. Holding onto them was key to my survival. And, ironically, childhood strife turned into the perfect training ground for the battles that lay ahead. Everything is indeed a blessing or a lesson.

Propagandists operate in the shadows- the secrecy is key to their success. Not only will the flying monkey feel as though they are being let into some special secret club, but lies thrive in the dark, not the light. Other propaganda techniques include:

• Manipulating Information: False claims and outright lies, couched in sincere-sounding language, can — as Goebbels knew —change people's opinions.

• Loaded language: Evoking emotions or feelings is an easy way to manipulate others. For example, suggesting that one sibling is less worthy than another sibling, one a mother carries scars for after losing the "better" sibling to a miscarriage, is an effective control mechanism.

• Family propagandists well understand that using a person's pain is an effective way to control them. And they're family, so they know the pain points intimately.

• Appealing to emotions: Propaganda often appeals to emotions rather than logic. Fear and anger are powerful reasons to join a secret club.

• Scare tactics: People who are scared are more likely to support a particular cause. In my family, my sister regularly threatened my mother with being locked up in a mental institution- my mother's worst fear

• , unless she did XYZ.

• Unrealistic promises are another common technique used in propaganda. For example, a candidate might promise to end poverty, even though this is not possible.

• Weasel words: Designed to mislead or deceive, weasel words and phrases can be used by simply saying, "I'm not saying that he did that, but..." or by presenting lies under the pretext of a joke, thereby normalizing a falsehood.

This is how a propagandist hijacks a family's trajectory- to serve their own purposes. And it happens in almost all families, almost every day. Some families survive; others are irretrievably broken down.

Tips to Avoid Being Manipulated by Propaganda

• Believe in yourself and own your truth

• Believe in yourself and own your truth. Always, no matter what.

• Educate yourself on propaganda techniques: Being battle-ready takes understanding your opponent better. Read "The Art of War" before going into battle, if that's what you choose.

• Make informed decisions and avoid snap decisions that you will regret later.

• Use the Grey Rock method: Be as interesting as a grey rock. Not only will the propagandist lose interest and find few pearls to build a lie around, but the silent space also gives you breathing room and helps you focus on things other than the propaganda. Things like living your best life.

How To Recover From Being The Target Of A Propaganda Campaign

1. Believe in yourself and own your truth!!!

2. Practice self-care

3. Make an effort to understand your feelings, own them, and, if necessary, get help.

4. Everyone has at least one person who loves and supports them, no matter what. Find that person and work on strengthening that relationship. There's always an aunt, uncle, or cousin who knew what was happening but didn't want to rock the boat - find them. You need their support, and this also helps you feel part of the family.

5. Sadly, you may not necessarily recover, but you can make a conscious decision to no longer let it affect you.

6. Stay away from the propagandist. Don’t walk, run.

Perhaps one of the most positive side effects of being the victim of a family propagandist is realizing how strong you really are. This may only happen after a range of emotions, torment, ridicule, and sometimes aggressive behaviour has been hurled towards you, because the flying monkeys believed the propagandist.

But they're monkeys. Don't let them or a f**khead define who you are.

And anyway, what's the point really? The f**khead got what they wanted, but they lost any possibility of being respected or loved authentically, not least because they know what they did and don't deserve it (although they'll never admit this), and their family is destroyed, so they lost that too. But do they even realize how much they lost? Well, a f**ckhead is defined as a stupid or contemptible person, so probably not.

But it doesn't matter. They don't matter. Healing, building your best life post smear campaign, and being happy are what their victims need and deserve. Some people prefer to be called a survivor rather than a victim. I find it important to own my truth, so I prefer "surviving, thriving (most days) victim", because that's what I am. But more importantly, I am me.

And that matters more than any name anyone may want to label me with. You too.