Living Beyond Trauma: Is Trauma Recovery Even Possible?
- Megan Maysie
- Aug 1, 2024
- 6 min read
Living the art of life on the edge, for a very long time, trauma victims often don't see themselves as victims of trauma or anything else. They sometimes don’t see themselves as all: trauma has seeped in so deep it’s now tied to their identity.
And perhaps the cruelest trick of all is that life becomes who you were before the trauma, and who you are now- Pre-trauma me and post-trauma me are both identities that battle each other daily, leaving little room for the single most important thing for humans: living life.
Our PTSD articles explain what trauma does.
Our C-PTSD article explains what repeated trauma does.
We now ask: Given all that...what does healing actually mean?
You Are Not Your Diagnosis
Pre-trauma me, Post-trauma me, PTSD, C-PTSD, depression, Anxiety. Those are descriptions. Not identities. At some point, you may have to acknowledge the trauma and separate yourself from it. It’s like the myth of Sisyphus in Greek Mythology, who spent a lifetime pushing a boulder up a hill, only to watch it roll down again.
While Sisyphus’ struggle became a universal symbol for the endless, repetitive tasks of human life- something those who’ve experienced trauma feel their life is reduced to, the existentialist philosopher Albert Camus famously concluded that by accepting his reality and embracing the struggle without despair, Sisyphus is ultimately the master of his own fate.
By accepting his reality and embracing the struggle without despair, Sisyphus becomes a figure of revolt and defiance. Camus's famous closing line of the essay, The Myth of Sisyphus is:
"One must imagine Sisyphus happy." - Camus
Recognising the Effects of Trauma
"What happened to me?" The severest effects of trauma include:
Continuous distress without times in between of relative calm or rest: The pain seems relentless and won’t leave you alone.
Severe dissociation: You start feeling a bit like a zombie. People do notice, but what you perceive as pity or stigma is more often that they just don't know how to help, and being closed off to connecting with others makes the traumatized person far more difficult to approach, often for fear of making things worse.
Intense intrusive recollections that carry on long after returning to safety: Despite no longer being in danger, it feels like it’s just around the corner, or lurking in every corner. The constant ruminating affects all aspects of life.
Physical arousal (so-called hyper-arousal): Easily startled or frightened, it feels like you're living on a knife's edge, always on guard for danger. You engage in edgy, self-destructive behavior, like driving too fast, drinking too much, or doing other extreme things. Sometimes it's thinking that maybe if you push the boundaries out far enough, something will snap, giving the pain an exit point. Only to discover that those boundary walls snap inwards, not outwards.
Sisyphean" describes impossible tasks. "Sisyphean" post-trauma describes making a decent plate of food or doing just about everything you previously looked forward to.
Recognising that these are the effects of trauma- as opposed to who you are, is key.
Okay... but now what? Is this just my life forever?
Immense Resilience Post-trauma: A Double-Edged Sword
People often admire resilience. But sometimes post-trauma resilience isn't healing. It's simply surviving for so long that survival becomes your normal. And it extends the agony over more lost years.
Resilience is an adverse event when it becomes a survival mechanism. While it gets you through the crisis, it doesn’t necessarily mean you have worked through the trauma. Authentic post-traumatic growth requires integrating the hard experience into your life story, which allows for vulnerability alongside strength.
Trauma happened, so what now?
How To Let Go Of Past Trauma: Living Beyond Trauma
What healing is not:
forgetting
pretending
"moving on"
becoming the person you were before
What healing IS- Healing is gradually reaching a point where:
Trauma no longer organises your life
Fear no longer makes every decision
Your nervous system can rest
Relationships become possible again
Curiosity returns
Joy returns
Purpose returns
Meaning becomes central to your life.
Notice... Not one of those says the trauma disappears.
Reclaiming Your Identity: The Real You Is Still Within You
Sometimes people genuinely can't want recovery yet. They're exhausted, frozen, overwhelmed. Sometimes the first step isn't "I choose healing." Sometimes it's "I wonder if healing is possible." That tiny spark matters.
Embrace: I deserve to heal (usually the hardest part- sometimes, it's even fear of success). It can be:
Reminding your old self that your future- authentic- self is tired of waiting,
Mindful practices like breathing, or using your breath to exhale what no longer serves you, inhale what does, meditation, or prayer,
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) builds self-belief by helping you identify and challenge your inner critic. CBT practices step into the gap when positive self-affirmations feel unbelievable, shifting your focus away from self-doubt through thought ladders, behavioral experiments, and cognitive restructuring. Notably, these techniques help you replace negative core beliefs with objective, evidence-based self-worth. S-E-L-F worth.
Reclaim your identity after trauma: The process is about self-discovery, not returning to who you were. Treat yourself with compassion to quiet trauma-driven shame, explore new hobbies in low-pressure ways, and practice daily grounding to help your mind distinguish the present from past survival states.
Trust Yourself: Trauma shatters your internal compass. You second-guess your instincts, emotions, and decisions. To rebuild trust, start with practicing tiny, daily choices, validating your feelings, and anchoring back into your body to signal safety. Microdoses to start out, moving up as you feel ready.
Start Trusting Others: Rebuilding trust after trauma is a gradual process that begins with trusting yourself. With self-compassion, set clear emotional boundaries, and take tiny, calculated risks in low-stress situations, then pace yourself as you learn to read your nervous system's safety signals.
Without all the clutter of pre-trauma life- as wonderful as it was, post-trauma forces reliance on your deepest, most authentic values, showing the world your true capacity for strength, endurance, and morality. It's no coincidence that many people notice that the kindest hearts are the ones that carry the most scars.
Originating in ancient Stoicism, some modern philosophers say:
“Trauma doesn't change people, but instead reveals who they are”
Strategies That Can Help You Heal From Trauma
Healing rarely happens all at once. Living beyond trauma means it usually happens in hundreds of ordinary moments that slowly begin to outweigh the extraordinary pain. And there are small adjustments that can be made:
Learn:
Find out everything you possibly can about trauma, its effects, and ways to cope and heal. Read, Google, learn, discover.
Practice mindfulness, notice the small things, and notice there’s always something to be grateful for.
Practice gratitude: Affirmations of gratitude and thankfulness bring our attention to the many blessings we have. Finding joy in many small things contributes to a whole lot of happiness. Look for them.
Connect:
Connect with other people, because the human connection is part of life and living. It gives our lives meaning and purpose. Smile at a stranger, lean in a little to really listen to someone.
Find forgiveness. Whether you need to find a way to forgive someone else, to be forgiven, or to forgive yourself, forgiveness is one of the most powerful tools when it comes to healing. Forgiveness And Atonement: Is Forgiveness Possible Without Someone Saying Sorry?
Accept help and support, even though it may be difficult to ask. In accepting that you deserve the help, support, and love available, you are taking a giant leap towards recovery.
Care For Your Body & Mind:
Get physical and move about. Dance like nobody’s watching, even when they are. Exercise is great for lifting mood, weight, and ego. Even a short walk with the dog counts (notice how the dog practices gratitude).
Work with your feelings. Feel them, accept them, and write about them by journaling or writing essays.
Rebuild Yourself:
Meditate to clear your mind. Even a simple technique- like focusing on a single flower, looking at the whole, then slowly working your attention to the middle before moving it slowly back out towards the whole calms the mind and soothes the soul.
Give attention to self-care daily. And do something that makes you feel good every day, even if it’s a simple thing like breathing exercises or taking a hot shower. If it makes you feel even slightly good, do it.
Avoid addictive substances, especially those that keep you frozen in time and space. Having the relief of mindlessness for a while is meaningless if it creates health and other problems.
Get creative with whatever interests you. Whether it's making something with your hands, writing a poem or an interesting story, or exploring your artistic side, these are all parts of what make up a person and should be embraced.
And don’t forget to take a break from time to time. Healing from trauma takes a surprising amount of energy. Give yourself a day off every now and then.
You Are Not Your Trauma
Coping with trauma, which can be the result of many things, from wars and natural disasters, to abuse or parental estrangement. Find strategies to live with the effects of a traumatic event. Similarly, letting go of the trauma is a big part of healing, and frees up space to embrace life.
Because life begins shrinking around trauma. Then healing slowly expands life again. Gradually, relationships grow. Curiosity grows. Meaning and purpose grow. Life then occupies the same amount of space as trauma once did...but life is ten times larger.
Trauma doesn’t disappear as though it didn’t happen. And healing doesn't end at the top of the hill. Healing is discovering that every step you've taken has already been shaping who you're becoming; the boulder has been the resistance training.
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