The Human Connection: The Alpha And Omega Of The Human Condition

We are all one. Darwinian insight tells us we came from one single cell, separating to become two, then four, then thousands of scientifically categorized species that inhabit this bit of carbon dust we call Earth, all going forth and multiplying, and developing infrastructures and social rules along the way. Human beings are our beginning and our end, our Alpha and Omega, our life-force.

As each group developed a unique categorizable identity, humans, as a group, found their way to the top of the food chain. Multiplying turned to conquering (sometimes both- the former being a potential weapon in some instances of the latter), and differences between groups drove wedges and conflict between members of the human race.

Until man made the foolish choice of AI over humans, guaranteeing the demise of humanity, the very thing that makes us who we are: human.

By definition, being human, having humanity —a word that is defined as human beings collectively, and with modern perversions of the word confusing it with being humane. Being human means a collective of beings that more or less qualify as being human. But it’s that collective where the connection lies, without which, we would simply be beings, not humans.

What Is The Human Connection?

Family: The first Human Connection

A mother is ground zero for every person’s life. This foundation is inescapable. If nothing else, she was there the moment you were born. She had to be, even though she may have had mixed emotions swirling around at the time- joy tempered by the fear of the overwhelming task ahead, or many other diverse emotions, all at the same time.

Sometimes, that connection is adopted by a new mother, whether it's an adoption or step-parent situation. But mostly, love hovered above the rest and went on to lead the path.

When a baby is born, a brand new human emerges, one that is shared under the umbrella of that complicated thing called family, and then extended to include other humans. Ups and downs ensue, but it's a meaningful life that gives identity to both mother and child. And the values and patterns forged in the family will become an intrinsic part of who we are for the rest of our lives. Some embrace these; others spend lifetimes trying to erase them. Or escape them.

Every human life, with its unique collection of fragments that make up the whole, has two things: value and potential. Leveraging that value and potential, connecting to other humans is inevitable. From the family, people join others in school and learn shared lessons, sometimes in the classroom, sometimes in the playground, and socialisation becomes at least as crucial as book-learning. But both develop as the child grows, physically, mentally, and spiritually. And usually, the family is still supporting and guiding this growth.

Experts across many fields of research have shown that the connection is vital to the survival of the species. Animals in packs are vastly more successful than, for example, loners like the gray wolves that travelled the American plains before reaching the brink of extinction. Humans have never been threatened by extinction since developing into homo sapiens, and the human connection- operating in groups, may have been central to their survival.

Groups form for various reasons, starting with the family group, which is thrown together by fate. Humans have the privilege of free will (Jim Carey’s movie, Bruce Almighty, may be the best way to understand the antithesis in this freedom), for example, you can choose to escape your family, but you can never cut out the lessons, values, love, pain, and everything else that led you to where you are now- it is the foundation on which we are all built.

The family foundation only ends when the family line ends: people who don't have children are the last of a line of ancestors that lived, grew, and developed a particular way of living over millions of years. The first single cell being continues until the last in line no longer exists. Pieces of us live on in our cousins, however far removed, but without our more recent upgrades.

Whether our souls live on forever is an entirely different subject , but the family's way of living remains within us as long as we are breathing, despite the other human connections we forge along the way.

Connecting Through Humans As We Live And Grow

Perhaps the dinosaurs had not evolved enough to embrace the value of dino-connections and group dynamics that could have resulted in an early warning system before the asteroid hit. Modern birds are recognized as the direct descendants of dinosaurs, and while crocodiles look more similar to what we imagine dinosaurs looked like, they do share a common relative with the dinosaurs - archosaurs, but are closer relatives of birds than they are to any other reptile.

Birds have well-developed social and communication system- as anyone who wakes up to hear them chirping will understand, and when watching a large group of crocodiles baking in the sun next to an African river, lying packed closely together, with an occasional bout of bickering, it’s apparent that they too developed not just better survival skills than the dinosaurs, but also an intricate group culture, a crocodile connection, so to speak.

In humans, the connection typically transitions from a family-guided and monitored path to a trial-and-error system, which we begin to implement while still seeing ourselves as all-seeing, all-knowing teenagers. This shift occurs as family bonds start to loosen or are torn apart, sometimes leading to parental estrangement.

The existing human connection to our family members (which also have different depths, purposes, and meanings) is built upon through friends, lovers who go on to be life partners, or not, college relationships, and then work connections. In every connection, the common denominator is that each party is a human, and the connections are usually formed as a result of common interests, values, goals, or purpose.

Except when we fall in love, in which case the rule book flies out the window, and any hope of defining the connection can only be found in poetry. Sometimes it just defies logic but still, what is sex but a deep-seated need to connect with another human being on an intense human and soul level? But it's those who connect on commonalities first that see the soul connection later, or make a somewhat less satisfying life without it. But without commonality, the connection will remain weak.

Love aside, other humans come upon our path too, and sometimes they are a blessing, sometimes they bring a lesson- ones that can be terrifyingly hard to learn. And as the connections we have forged with the blessings- our support system- are tested, our connection to others deepens, or ends. There- I may argue until my dying breath, lie the connections that sustain us, that uplift us, and give our lives colour, moments of happiness, and inspire us to find joy. Although the suffering will have led us through the fire, our personal purgatory, that forged our new understanding, it's love too, but in different clothes.

Some money, however, is also required to sustain us. And “some” is different things to different people. We enter work life with a natural inclination to build relationships. As we build a life around a career or found an empire, we meet people and form human connections of varying intensity. A good rapport can enhance a business, or make for happier employees, and love relationships often start in the workplace- sometimes lasting ever after, and other times becoming as messy as the Coldplay couple unintentionally demonstrated very publicly to the world.

Yet people are becoming increasingly lonely and isolated, and introvertism is on the rise. Still, making healthy connections goes beyond ignoring feelings of loneliness and isolation or engaging in superficial attachments that leave us feeling more lonely than ever. Our relationships affect all dimensions of our well-being, and the human connection is a lynchpin of both physical and mental health, which is also central to our ability to flourish at work, in love, and in every other facet of human life.

Here's a scary thought: Crocodiles are cannibals- through territorial aggression, food scarcity, and maternal instinct- where mothers eat their own eggs or hatchlings to fill the added protein requirement of reproduction.

Similarly, humans will cannibalize other humans, sometimes driven by their perverse and dark desires. Humans can and do destroy, kill, or maim others, driven by territorial aggression (like wars), food and resource scarcity, or greed (ever hear someone say "I'll eat them for breakfast?"), and, tragically, human mothers have been known to sell their babies, out of sheer desperation, in order to eat. One human life is sacrificed for the benefit or survival of another.

Despite thinking we're some kind of superior species, we're not that different from crocodiles. We may proclaim ourselves to be more evolved, but how is giving over our lives to artificial intelligence and isolating ourselves from other humans evolution, when we could still be basking next to the river under the African sun, and getting a good deal of our protein requirements from the 1,000 or so humans we kill annually? That's what crocodiles do, and we're not that different, it seems.

Except, of course, for our reported advanced abilities, including the capacity for abstract reasoning and imagination, sophisticated tool use, self-awareness, and the ability to plan for the future. Yet few realize that self-awareness is not a lonely project to undertake- it's found in human connection.

The Importance of Human Connections on Our Well-Being

Connected through many generations who came before me, I am an African. Despite my pale skin turning lobster-red rather than chocolately brown under our magical sun, which just shines brighter in Africa, I am connected to Africa, in my heart, my soul, and my human connections.

Four generations of me lie in the African soil and are scattered across its plains. And while those connections remain meaningful through the shared life on Earth, the soul and DNA connection, it's the human connections —to living human beings, family by blood or deep connection —that remain key to my happiness, my learning, my life, alongside the imprints of my family as well as others who may have only stayed for a season or two.

While philosophers and scientists are divided on why we're here (and how we got to be here), some say good health or growth is our purpose, others say it's merely to reproduce, pass on our DNA, and evolve, while there are a few who see human life as a divine blessing.

Within all three of these reasons, human connection plays a vital part:

• Human connection enhances good health, and growth is stimulated through human interactions.

• Human connection is central to conception, and the baby delivered is connected to its parents; Evolving too would be impossible without shared insight or the cruel human-inflicted suffering that is key to personal growth.

• Human connection is a key concept in most major religions, including through the Golden Rule—"do unto others as you would have them do unto you." And surely there would be no necessity for divine intervention if we never connected with other human beings, whether it's falling in love or doing evil.

Every human being is born uniquely themselves, but connecting with others adds warmth and meaning to our lives. Our mothers would not have been able to birth us, and we would not have had the chance to discover this crazy, beautiful world. And evolve.

Purpose Of The Human Connection

Perhaps the goal, from the first single cell, was always to return to one. To become whole again, one being within a vast cosmos that we haven't even explored a fraction of yet. Maybe we're just the carbon dust of a bigger system than our minds can conceive. It fits with our relentless search for meaning and happiness in deep spiritual adventures as diverse as astrology and religion, science and philosophy.

Connecting with others in the modern world is less concerned with making genuine connections and more about the short-term benefits or finding a tribe, where more often than not, the members know very little about each other on a personal level.

The pursuit of money, power, and influence finds little value in humans beyond the material benefits. Money and things are becoming more important than people, the crucial ingredient we need to survive. And thrive.

It also makes sense that we are subconsciously driven by the human desire to connect with others- perhaps the human soul's desire is to attempt to return to oneness, to the one single cell with a particular place in the cosmos. So we reach out to other humans to connect with them for a while, before fears and tears drive us apart again, despite having a genetic link to every other human, and every other life form on Earth.

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