Living is for dying: Does Dying Give Life Meaning?

The gift of life is a fabulous thing, but it comes with an expiry date. So how do we make the most of this gift, explore every nook and cranny, and extract the most possible joy from it? And figure out what the meaning of life is, all in one limited lifetime.

What does it mean to be alive?

To exist in the world is a privilege that most take for granted. The Merriam-Webster dictionary describes being alive as “having life, not dead or inanimate” and its synonym, living, also means “having life,” with life itself being described in over 30 different ways if the sub-descriptions are part of the count, including:

1. The quality that distinguishes a functional, vital being from a dead body.

2. A specific phase of earthly existence, or the period of

3. Existence.

4. From birth to death.

5. The duration, usefulness, or popularity of something.

6. A principle or force underlying the distinctive quality of animate beings.

7. The sequence of mental and physical experiences making up the existence of an individual.

8. Spiritual existence, transcending physical death.

9. A manner or way of living.

10. The pattern or form of something existing in reality.

11. An opportunity for continued viability.

Apparently, English being the odd language it is, the meaning of life is not the meaning of the word life, because none of these descriptions attach meaning to a particular person, or to the time they are functional and, well, not dead.

Does the inevitability of death give life meaning?

Finding meaning in the context of the inevitable reality of death brings a myriad of complicated questions that are difficult to answer. Mostly, it comes down to, “In the face of death, what did my life really mean when the clock runs out?”

In his optimistically named work published in 1971, “The Vitality of Death,” Peter Koestenbaum’s theory is that with the dramatic reminder of our limitations- and the decisive effect they have on our lives, meaning in life is to be found in an analysis of its intentionality (the phenomenological method used by the author). Death- our inescapable fate, Koestenbaum says, shows us to ourselves as finite, but ironically, we can start living once we accept the fact that we have been condemned to death.

With death looming, man concentrates on essentials to find meaning in life. Koestenbaum’s essays reflect that death makes us honest, and can lead us to take charge of the life we are given, helping to put together a total plan for life. One of the many positive slants by the author is that the awareness of death breaks the stranglehold of failure.

Dr. Paul Wong’s Meaning Management Theory and Death Acceptance (2007) also explores our quest for meaning as a key motivational driver in our lives. Contemplating our mortality motivates us to find meaning in life, as we look to manage our inner lives through our uncertainty, trying to square up what death, and also life, means to us.

According to the author, the drive to find authenticity, meaning, and growth is how we as humans respond to the realities of death.

Death, it seems, is a key motivating factor to looking at our lives in a brutally honest way, finding meaning despite, or perhaps because we realize how precious the time we have is and start seeking ways to make our lives more productive, and more meaningful.

Productive Living In The Face Of Death

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross developed a five-stage model of death and dying describing the five emotional responses (or stages) people go through in response to the knowledge of death and studied the phenomenon of near-death experience. Although there is substantial research on stages of dying and models of grief available online, this article focuses on the meaning of life, rather than the act of dying, whether it's a sudden or a more prolonged experience.

Advice from Morrie in Mitch Albom's best-seller, Tuesdays With Morrie, "Don't assume that it is too late to get involved," is good advice indeed, from a man facing imminent death. Death as a Phenomenon of Life is a work from Denitsa Uzunova published in 2022 arguing that death gives meaning to human life, but again, emphasizes the prerequisite existential fear of death in finding meaning.

Motivating us to live more fully, make meaningful choices, and appreciate the present moment, Uzunova confirms that the fear of death can influence our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. It shapes our perspectives on life, pushing us to seek meaning and purpose.

In this space, productivity develops a profound significance, as Frankl observed in the WWII concentration camps. Survivors, he said in his book, Man's Search For Meaning, connected with their unique purpose in life. In feeling positive about their purpose, some prisoners then immersed themselves in imagining that purpose in their own way. Those who found none struggled to survive.

Frankl, a psychiatrist, held onto his mental health work and theories, writing on any scrap of paper he could find as this- to him, was the central meaning of his life. After liberation, it turned out that Frankl’s work, in helping others come to terms with suffering and meaning, gave meaning to their lives, and his.

Life’s Meaning Through The Lens Of Death

Understanding the limitations imposed by a finite amount of time, manifesting meaning sometimes becomes the challenge. Before immersing yourself in a journey towards a meaningful life, recognizing what you have means taking stock of the meaningful things already present.

Three Ways to See Meaning in Your Life are:

1. Understanding what is meaningful to you:

For some, it's family and close relationships, for others, it's their careers. But others don't matter here- except as they relate to the meaning they get from your life, or vice versa. Your life matters, and what you feel is meaningful is the right answer.

1. Seeing is believing:

Caught up in a fight for survival, it’s easy to look past the good stuff. By taking time to really look at what is already there, or even better, to make a daily practice of being grateful for things (no matter how big or small), the meaning in our lives starts to look real (because it is real!) Gratitude may be for the birds that sing, uplifting your spirit, or even for the breath that keeps us alive.

1. Knowing the life you share means something:

We are all connected, every human, to each other and to every sentient being, the planet Earth, and the universe.

Can The Stars Tell You How To Find Your Meaning Of Life?

Celebrate Life! In The Living Years

Celebrate life knowing that it ends in death, but still celebrating the here and now. What lies beyond and how is this connected to the meaning of life pales in comparison to a day spent in a meaningful way, because all those days add up to a meaningful life.

Connecting to the rest of the world and recognizing the role we play in others' lives- and they in ours, delivers a myriad of opportunities to see and know meaning. But in our frail human bodies, that meaning, over time, becomes embedded in our souls. This one life is an opportunity for our souls to learn and grow.

As Mike and the Mechanics remind us in their iconic song, the living years matter.

Mike + The Mechanics - The Living Years (Official Video)

Celebrating your life before you die

Sadness, regret, and "if onlys" are often the central themes of funerals. But what if we celebrate a life while the person is still alive (per the definition, not dead)?

Gaining popularity around the world, a celebration of life, especially where the celebrant (the person being celebrated) and celebrants (those doing the celebrating) have relative certainty on the imminent moment of their departure, a celebration of life party, ritual, or informal gathering has immense value for all who participate. It's the chance to recognize the meaning of that person's life, to pay respect to the living, and to take away inspiration and solace.

Does Dying Give Life Meaning?

Beautifully written, Bridget Hilton-Barber’s Embracing Bold New Perspectives in Preparing for a Sacred Death appears in the Daily Maverick, illuminating the life of a friend, still living, almost dying. To be loved, it seems, is key to the meaning of the life of “K.”

The last word must surely go to Mitch Albom’s mentor, Morrie: "Accept what you are able to do and what you are not able to do".

**Please be aware that this is an opinion piece. The research in this article is a reflection of the work of experts who guided the author’s opinion, but is not necessarily the views of all researchers, experts, or sages on the subject. Gezinta respects that others may have different opinions, and highly recommends that the reader undertake their own research. Learning is, after all, a worthwhile experience, leading to healing and personal growth, something we wish for all our visitors.