Losing a child who has passed is devastating, something one can never fully recover from. But when a living child is as unreachable as one no longer in this realm, the grief is the same, except the confusion over how it happened heightens the grief. Added to this is the shamefully undeserved shame society spews at them. Yet still, hope keeps them going, but soon becomes a barrier to being able to grieve and pick up the pieces of their lives.

For if and when your estranged child decides to walk through your door, keep it open. Your grown-up child will find a way to return when they are ready. But no parent will want to turn it into a blame session, even if there is a good reason to. Throwing your pain back at 'the source' is unproductive and will send them running.